Becoming an obsession

I think my whole "I want to be skinny and pretty" thing is starting to become an obsession. I worry about my looks all the time. I never ever find myself attractive. I see all these gorgeous girls and it makes me sad. Pathetic? I know but I can't help it. But I decided to make a little blog before I leave to go camping. Summer is going by pretty quickly. It hasn't really been anything special but oh well. I've been upset and frusturated by the simplest things lately. It makes me wonder to myself When did I become some emotional? I don't know its all confusing to me. I need to just try to push away negative thoughts about myself and just be me. I guess that's the best I can do. I'm still determined to lose ten more pounds by the end of the summer and I don't care what it takes. Plus if my skin doesn't begin to clear up by the summer I need to go out and get some good cover up + other make-up and such. I never wear make up. The occasional lip gloss and that's about it. I think maybie it's time to start. I sound way to depression this blog. Cause I tend to always write when something is bothering me. I have no idea what has gotten into me this summer. I haven't been so depressed in a while. Kayla-rose , I mean seriously I'm getting upset over superficial things like looks. But come on we all agree that looks DO matter. I mean guys want a sexy girl right. I guess I look at the media too much. I mean the music videos and stuff. Rockstars & rappers are always with gorgeous girls. They wouldn't look twice at someone with Acne and slightly frizzy hair like myself. But I have finally decided that this will be the LAST post (atleast for a while) that I make about my skin. Because I keep talking and talking about it. & I guess its even annoying me now. Hopefully I just grow out of it.
Anyway I need to finish packing, I will write another post as soon as I get back from camping :)