Summer 2010

So, it's finally summer.
Technically, allthough exams aren't over until friday.
Yesturday I spent the entire day at the beach with my bestfriends dylan & Julie.
So dylan and I got to the beach at like one thirty, Julie rolled up at two thirty, with her sister & her sisters girlfriend , it was alot of fun. A few hours later her sister and gf left and it was julie, dyan and I. We brought so much food, and had some alcohol.
I honestly don't think that's probably one of my favourite things. Lounging on the beach with my bestfriends , sipping on some drink and just talking. Making some great memories.
This summer looks like its going to be a good one :)

Change is the only thing in life that is definate.

That is a fact of a life, a fact in which I despise.
I think it is kind of funny how for weeks things would seem great, seem as if life couldn't get better. Feel like you can touch the sky, and then BANG in an instant everything changes, for the worse. Especially when it has to do with a person.

Guys are really confusing, I seriously wish they understood how the little things they do hurt us ladies so badly. They are so oblivious to what they are doing to a point that it is ridiculous.
See I don't blame my problem entirely on guys, I put most of the blame on Oxytocin.

When guys 'hit it and quit it' as everyone calls it, it hurts. It hurts real bad....I don't understand how someone can for MONTHS, tell you how pretty, beautiful, and great you are, and then once they get what they want, they completely forget about you...they don't even TALK to you anymore.

Probably one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.
I have never felt so used, worthless, ugly, and alone in my entire life.
Not only because of this 'guy' but because of many other factors in my life that seem to be building up on me. I feel like theres a weight of about 1000 pounds resting on my shoulders and no matter what I do to try and take my mind off of it all, it doesn't work.
Life seems to get harder and harder.

I'm not an idiot, I know that this is how life goes.
Filled with real bad times, and real good times.

And I know that once things start going really good again I'll probably forget all about what's happening right now. Lifes a big rollercoaster and I'm just unfortunate enough to be on the rough part of that rollercoaste.

Since we are using this rollercoaster analogy, I know i have to take a deep breath and wait for it to be over.

It's hard, life's hard.
Sometimes I wish I was five again, when life was simple.
Growing up really sucks sometimes.

So things are getting better.

I've noticed I hadn't made a post in forever.
I thought i was going to be devastated over the break up with my boyfriend erik. We were dating so long, and we had been through so much together I thought I would die. But I got over it suprisingly very fast.

So, I've been spending alot of time smoking weed, drinking, just partying with my friends.
I haven't thought of erik in a while, in fact I've been kinda liking this other guy :$ too bad this guy quite obviously doesn't share the same feelings.

So, I'm just trying to live my life.
After all its 2010 , a new decade time to forget all the bullshit that happened the last ten years.

i think its really over.

So, I've spent all day today crying, I really think me and erik are over.
He said he wanted to break-up but still wanted to be friends.
But now he's saying he isnt sure if he wants to breakup and he's confused but no matter what we said we'll be friends. Ugh, my heart is litterally breaking right now and it sucks big time.

I messed up.

I messed up BIG time, and I'm going to lose my boyfriend because of it.
I can't believe i let myself do that?
I can't stop crying, yet i deserve no sympathy.
I'm the one who screwed up and im paying for it.
People don't look at me the same, my boyfriend treats me diffrently.
I don't think he'll forgive me. I don't think he'll trust me again.
I'm just a screw up in life.
Things would be so much better off without me that's for sure.

Today

So today was a pretty good day in general.
Although I am not to happy about the freezing cold weather.
Ever year it seems to get colder and colder during the winter.
It's only the beginning of October, why is it so cold?
This makes Canadian stereotypes about our weather seem so true.
Today I went to the football game, I made a bad mistake of wearing short shorts.
It poured rain and was freezing cold.
But we won, finally we never win cause we are a very terrible team.
None of the guys have any dicipline.

I was watching 90210 earlier
Oh man , When I first found out they were remaking 90210 I was so angry.
I said "I am never going to start watching that." But I did, and I'M ADDICTED TO IT.
Embarressing I know, It's my guilty pleasure.

I'm really hungry, I burnt off alot of calories from working out earlier but i didn't eat after.
Totally regretting that, because it isn't healthy to eat after 7pm and in my time zone it is officially 10:40pm.
So no food for kayla-rose.

So I'm just going to sleep instead which is a suprise suprise since I rarely sleep.
But I'm in much need of catching up on some Z's.

Goodnight =)

It's been a while

So I haven't made a post in a long while.
Manly because my internet wasn't fully functioning.
Plus school's back in session and I am oh so busy learning.
Alot has been going on, me and erik haven't been seeing much of each other. I can sense our relationship going down the tubes.
I'm getting serious feelings for another boy, I don't think this is going to end well for neither me or erik :(
I wish I could stay happy with him , but I'm not so who Am I kidding?