Self esteem

So, once again today my self esteem is really low, i hate feeling like i do all the time. Ninety persent of the time i just wanna sit at hme ad hide my hideous face under the blankets and stay away from the rest of the world. But i know that's not really possible. Like for example, today i was feeling incrediably awful today. Extreamly depressed and unhappy. I blew off my workout whihc makes me feel really fat +like a complete failure at life. I meani cant even keep a stupid workout schedual what is wrong with me? I smoked a big fat blunt which made me happy, but then i ate ALOT , and very unhealthy too :( So im sitting here feeling like a big, fat ogre, i can't wait to workout, im gonna workout EXTRA tomorrow, and maybie not eat tomorrow, God knows I ate enough today to last me a fucking week. Blah, but what kinda bugs me is my mom said I'm getting Obsessed with working out. She says i revolve my whole life around it ? What the hell? She also said  that its unhealthy that i get so upset when i don;t workout, and she said i do it too much? Is that possible. So i ended up being w/ my boyfriend tonight which also sucks caused my sex drive is rlly low, due to the hatred toward my body. :(