So, lately I have been stuggling alot with my appearance.
I'm a very self-concious person. I guess you could say I'm too hard on myself and I point out the negative parts of my body so much its ridiculous. Before it used to be my weight. But now that I have that under control, its right now my skin. I mean lets just say I have less then perfect skin.
I'm so sick of it I mean I've tried everything and I'm giving up hope on having clear skin. It's depressing. Never in my life have I ever felt pretty, and one day I just want to feel pretty. I know it sounds stupid but its true. I mean everywhere I go I see gorgeous girls with really perfect skin, and a perfect weight. Ugh! Secretly I'm scared of losing my boyfriend. I mean the girls he had been with before me where skinny and have super nice skin and they are super super super nice. So what the hell does he see in me? Honestly I don't know because I'm not skinny by any means. I have WAY less then perfect skin. My acne is definately a problem. And I'm bitchy to him alot. I keep thinking he'll find prettier, nicer girls then me which makes my self confidence and my self esteem sink really low. Its honestly been making me really depressed. I just want to lay in my room and do nothing but sleep. I feel down and sad all the time. Which is affecting my relationship with erik as well. Ugh, I hate feeling like this.
I guess I just need to rant somwhere , and my blog seems like thee perfect place.
But there is some good news of thee day. I'm going camping w/ thee boyfriend and thee family. Which is going to be hopefully fun. First of all I'm shocked my parents are letting him come in the first place. Secondly, I'm suprised his parents are letting him come. But who cares about all of that. HE CAN COME which makes me a little happier.
But seriously I'm sick of feelng terrible about my body.
I've spent this whole freaking summer hiding out in my room cause I dont wanan go in public cause I look disqusting. :(
Who knew bad skin can make a person depressed.
Well I guess It does :(
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